Happy Birthday Dad, I’m not sure why exactly I post these things but I guess it helps just put my feelings in another area for you. Today we would have celebrated your 60th birthday! I want you to know I still will, and I miss you terribly. Life is completely different now since when you passed on to the next life. I will forever look forward to celebrating birthdays with you when I see you next. I hope you are always near and at times as I have said I feel you close. You still are and will always be my best friend, we are still a team and I will celebrate with you today on your birthday just from separate places. I hope today you are smiling and have all those who love you close. Me, mom, Tasha, James and Lily wish you the very happiest of birthdays and I can’t wait for the day we can all give you a big hug again. You were such a gift to us, the memories I hold very near and dear. I still daydream of us driving around eating ribs, going to fish stores, doing yard work, hanging out on the deck having a few drinks…. I consider those treasures now and am so thankful we had the time to do that together if I had only known how precious those times were, I would do almost anything to sit with you and talk about so many things… I have so much to ask you. I need so much guidance still and if at all possible send me any signs that I am at least doing something right without you here to help out.

60 years ago today the world was given a gentle and caring soul…. you changed so many lives for the better dad, friends, family, even people who didn’t know you. we had your love and affection for 51 years and then like everything… even the best of things don’t last forever. Thank you for 27 years of being my dad, my best friend and supporter no matter what. we love you so much Dad and miss you just as much today as we did 9 years ago. I’ll continue to follow in your footsteps as best I can and provide my children with a father they will always remember and do my best to protect them and show them the better side of life. I know you see how much they mean to me and although I always feel like I fall short with them I do give them everything I have. I constantly use the same love and affection I received to show them what real love looks and feels like. so thank you for showing me and giving me that experience. We will be thinking of you today as we always do and love you deeply. Walk with me dad, stay close because now more than ever I feel as if I need support. for today let’s remember the best man we ever knew…. on his birthday. Happy 60th Birthday dad, I love you, we love you, and we miss you.

Still an inspiration to me……….

Another year dad, another 365 days I again thought of you. It seems each year I write these that things change so much….I’m beginning to see that life is seemingly that way. As I age I’m finding that so many things that I one thought meant so much simply don’t anymore.. and yet so many things I thought meant only a little mean more now than ever before. One of these things is the wonderful memories I have. memories I have of you, us , mom and us, the family together, grandpa and grandma, Lori, even your brother Ken… I remember Christmas time at the acreage and can actually recall vividly many of those times, summer trips to have some fun, I even remember the dogs barking like crazy the minute we arrived that’s how grandma knew we had arrived! I remember stopping by with you sometimes late on weeknights believe it or not… I was quite young because I remember my grade 1 class if you can believe it……we would drive home late that night or at least it seemed late because it was dark and scary but I knew daddy would get me home safe… and I sometimes don’t remember going to bed, I assume this is because I fell asleep in the car and you put me to bed. I remember grandpa giving me cherry tomatoes before I left… I remember sitting in the hot tub at their place and you teaching me how to jump out of the hot tub in a foot of snow run out to the bushes and have a pee, our feet would freeze and we would run back into the hot tub and then they would burn because it went from so cold to so hot and we would laugh our faces off….. it’s these things that now seem so important to me as they are so long ago and were so cherished but I never realized it until I was older and unfortunately see what they are really worth. It’s because of memories like these that I realize what a dad does…..what family time is worth, what loved ones are worth, time spent with those we love is priceless. I have memories that I could talk bout for a lifetime it seems…. I want you to know and see that even 6 years later these important memories are more a part of me now than perhaps they ever were. You’re still making an impact on me and you’re still contributing to my life 6 years after you have gone. Only a real man shows his son certain values that he doesn’t even realize he’s learned until he’s older like I did…. and in return I teach them to my kids. I know you’re with us and I know that some days are harder than others but I also know that on those hard days I have only to remember that everything is ok and you’re with me.

I am fortunate enough to have mom with us still. We are fortunate enough to have mom with us still. I know you have been with her more the last few months as she battles this second round with breast cancer. I have felt you close especially during some of those harder times and even some of the softer times… I have come to learn that you’re never far for both the good and the bad. Mom is continuing down her path the right way once again. Her head is held high, she takes it head on and knows that she will win like always. It brings me to tears to see her go through this and I get so angry that something so bad happens to someone so good. I am confident mom will come out of this just fine in the long run but please always stay with her as I know you do and me as well because dad…. we need you still and will always need you; that I promise you. She is moving this weekend into her 3rd place in 6 years…. yep I know, I can hear you laughing now…… funny guy… I feel in my heart she will be happy here and I’m so thankful that she feels comfortable enough to finally get into a place that she will be happy, and she’s closer too so please enjoy all the times I’m running over there for God knows what! I can hear you laughing MANG….. hope your enjoying yourself… Mom is strong and will continue to be the inspiration that she has always been and I know that no matter what.. she has endless love for her family just like you did and that is so rare these days it seems

Dad everyday that goes by I think of you… to this very day I think of you almost every time I pull up to daycare and I wonder what it would be like to have that feeling again of you picking me up. I still remember you picking me up form my daycare in Edmonton…. the feeling I got that daddy was here. It warms my heart like nothing else can to pick James and Lily up form daycare as it reminds me of you and me and more so…. the fact that they get such joy out of it. There is nothing I want more in life than to see my kids happy, there simply isn’t anything as satisfying as that. They are my world to say the least. Because of you I am able to be a better father to them. I cherish our relationships together and I am so fortunate and so happy to be a part of their lives.

I have to tell you that lately I have spent much time talking with grandma… I can’t begin to explain how much of you I see in her and or her I see/saw in you… it’s absolutely amazing to be honest.. I am also so grateful that we have her still in our lives and I will be the first to say life simply wouldn’t be the same without her. You and I always used to talk of grandma and how much we both loves her and I know that one day she will join you but for now dad…. she also has to stay because she means the world to me.. she has helped us so much and showed truly what a real true love is when times are tough.. she helped mom so much and was a godsend during mom’s surgery this year. Without her I’m not sure what we would have done. She immediately put herself out there and did everything and more for her just as she always did. You have one hell of a good mom and I have very likely the best grandmother on earth… we both won there dad…. I vow to love her as best I can until her time comes but it better be a long time from now.

As for me dad.. well I’m really finding that I am changing lately… I feel as though I have been forced into it but I also feel like it is a good thing. I am learning how to love without some of the worry, I am slowly learning how to extend my care and love even more if you can believe it and yet…. insulating myself a little better from the stresses that I have been facing for to long. I am truly changing as a person and I do feel it’s for the better. I am slowly learning to let things roll of my back so to speak. I am finding that it’s ok to be upset, or sad or mad and yet not let it rule your life and change the things that matter most to you. I’ll never forget the day you drove me back to the hospital….. we were in the truck and you looked at me and said son…. there will be times when you have no control over things and it’s ok to feel whatever way you feel BUT at some point you have to move forward and past it otherwise it rules you. This makes more sense to me now than any other time in my life where stress is literally so much more than I would like it. I do know that everything has a phase and that every storm cloud runs out of rain so until then I have a smile on my face and I am so thankful to have those that I do around me. I am so thankful that I had my best friend for 27 years of my life which is more than some people can say and also more than some others have had whose dad lives to be 100 years old…. I am thankful for my health and I am thankful you’re still with me, I am so thankful for my wife, my kids, my in laws, mom, grandma Lori, all our friends and the list goes on and on. We are blessed to have what we do and although we have had much heartache and trials to go through I know what’s important and I know that life is precious.. I am so glad to have my life here with all these frinds and family. You and I… we are always together Mang… just a little farther apart right now. We will always be best friends like I have always told you. We will always be a team, I am proud to be your son and I am proud to tell people that you were my dad. I can’t wait until I see you again but I also know that there is no rush because life is too short as is. I know you’re saving my spot, I know we will sit side by side again but I have so much to do here still and I know you’re right behind me looking over my shoulder dad, never leave that spot, never drift too far away because who I am today is a reflection of who I was as well as who I will be in the future. I miss you so very much and I wish you were here to walk with us…. in person, but if all I can have is you here in spirit right behind me.. well like I said… that’s a lot better than most. I love you dad, I always have and I always will, you are a part of me forever, my best friend until the end of time. I love you Mang……

– I love you so much dad, Mike-

PS: give grandpa a big hug for me, I sure miss those as well. Love you and miss you grandpa, you two be good until I get there.

Together Forever………..

I could never have imagined my life the way it is today dad….. 5 years ago today I was thrown into my worst nightmare, losing you was the single worst thing I would have imagined. It’s funny how nightmares do sometimes come true. To this day I would give anything to spend a day with you, watch a football game and eat snacks, watch a movie, go hang out and eat some dry ribs somewhere like we used to. Maybe on a hot sunny day, have a few drinks on the deck while chatting and enjoying each others company. My god those days seem like a dream sometimes to me now. SO much has changed, so many things are so different from when you were here last,

James and Lily are the single best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t imagine what life would be like without them…. some days I’d like to mind you! I can’t honestly say that a day passes where I don’t wish I could watch you playing with your grandkids, watching James and you joke and play would bring me to tears…. holding lily in your arms would be a sight I would give anything to see…. for you to help guide them and show them the sincere, loving honest path that you always chose is something they shouldn’t be without. I know you’re close and I know you’re watching but I would be lying if I told you that some days that just didn’t feel like enough. If there is anything I can ask it would be that you never leave us for too long, please keep watch over us and continue to teach your grandchildren as best you can from where you are, influence them as much as you’re able because your kindness, your compassion, the way you lived your life and the love you gave to your family is something I wish more people had.

I can’t thank you enough dad for the time you spent with me, the things you taught me, the way you led by example instead of always talking about it. You truly showed me so many life lessons that I never knew would mean so much later on. I see friends, people I know, strangers, all sorts living their lives without even a hint of the love and compassion you gave. So many people in this world today can’t hold a candle to you dad. You were the definition of a good man, a quality man, a loving father, a good husband, a devoted family man, trusted employee, one of the best employers someone could ask for to so many…….. I guess that’s why you left and are still leaving the impact you have. I would like to think that the love I give to my children will evolve into the same or perhaps even better relationship than we had if that’s even possible, nothing means more to me than they do. My wish is to one day have them understand that we are what we are and we live the way we do not only because of what we chose to do but because you were such a big part of teaching us and me how to live with love. Don’t be afraid to show it, never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and never back down. You stood for all the right things and showed those less fortunate the world was still a good place and I pray I can follow in your footsteps. You told me many times you were proud of me and that I had become so much more than you ever thought I would be at such a young age, you even asked me for help from time to time, told me that you knew I knew best…. relied on me to get things done or help you with something you didn’t understand… I look back now and see that I do have some of those great qualities you did because helping others is what you were essentially teaching me. Dad I can’t thank you enough.

Mom is doing well and she is trying her best to move on. I probably don’t have to tell you this because you’re watching and I know I must sound silly but I wonder sometimes if I’ll be able to watch over her as best I can and she deserves that, lord knows I would do anything anytime for her, be there for whatever she needs but I just feel so bad some days because I don’t see her enough and my love for her is endless. She is a strong woman and moving forward with her life, not without you in her heart. I vow always to love her and do what I can not only because you taught me that but because mom deserves it and she is one of the best women you and I ever knew, you were right all along in what you would tell me. She is truly an inspiration and has the biggest heart of anyone. I guess that’s why you two were the love of each others life… two of a kind.

Dad no matter where I am or what I’m doing I need you with me. I need your love, I need your guidance and I need to know that you have my back the way I had yours. I simply can’t get through life without knowing that. I have to thank you for the signs that I think you’re sending me from time to time. I have told Tasha, mom and a few friends about certain things I am almost sure are you. If I am right please don’t ever stop. Not a father’s day passes without me wanting to share it with you, not a football game goes by that I don’t wish you were with me watching, drinking, eating and enjoying together. I wrestle with James and remember you and I doing the same, I watch cartoons with him and think to myself this must be what dad did with me. I remember watching hockey games with you, wrestling shows, I even remember you taking me there in Edmonton when I was young. So many memories of you taking care of me and doing all that you could for me….that time is something I hold close to my heart and always will until my last days on this earth and then I know I’ll be on my way to meet with you again. I have so much to do still and I will do my best despite the hard days.. I have much growing up to do still and so much to accomplish… I don’t understand why the good ones have to go so early and right now it doesn’t make any sense…. 5 years of thinking about it, trying to make sense of it all and I still have no answers. I just can’t make sense of such a good man being taken away from us, you made and are still making the world a better place. I mean….. what a great man to influence things even 5 years after he’s gone…. let me be the first to tell you that you are not gone in my heart or in my thoughts. I will always hold you close to my heart dad and I will always try to apply the rules you taught me. I will always strive to be the best man I can be and I hope to make you proud.

I love you so very much dad, and I miss you more than I ever thought possible.. my children are proof that heaven really exists because I know they came right from there, from your hands, I know one day we will all play together, dance together like no ones watching, laugh harder then we ever have and enjoy spending time with each other, all of us together again….. until then thank you, thank you for being a better father than many have in their whole lifetime….thank you for not being afraid to love endlessly, showing me what a real man looks like.

Best friends forever dad, until the end of time…I am your son and so proud of it. Walk with me through my life. I love you always and forever… the best man I have ever known. All my love

-Mike-

Still with you……..

4 years you have been gone, 4 years since I got to see my best friend, 4 years since I lost my teacher, my mentor, best friend and the man I love the most in this world. I feel very numb still when I think about how much you meant to me and how much it hurts that your not here. I find myself suppressing the acceptance that your gone for the simple fact that it’s the only way to feel a semblance of normalcy. I have realized over these past 4 years that the time we spent together is more precious than most people realize with their loved ones, it has also helped me see how lucky I was, how lucky we all were that you were with us for the time that you were. I was fortunate enough to spend 27 years with you, and to call you my father and share the bond that we did is something I am so grateful for, I will never let those memories go, nor will I ever forget them.

I know your close, and I can feel you often, it warms my heart knowing your there, please don’t ever leave. I want to thank you dad for the love you gave me, endless compassion and mostly.. giving me the ability to see first hand what a dad is supposed to do. Because of you I know how to be a father to my children, because of you I know what love means looks and feels like.

So many things have changed since you left.. James is such a big boy now and to this day I think of you every time I pick my baby boy up at daycare, I remember the times you would pick me up and the warmth I would feel and I see it in his eyes and I know that somewhere along the way I have done something right, as you taught me. He is my world, my little boy and he reminds me of what we share and will always share. I have been blessed with our beautiful baby girl only 2 months ago. I know you have met her because both my children came directly from your hands in heaven to us. Lily is more than I could have asked for and we love her so very much. I have so many visions of you playing with my children, I can hear them laughing as grampa tickles them, I can see their smiles when you play with them……..in a way they will have you with them their whole lives because they have me and mom with them. watching mom play with my kids is bliss and i’m so happy she’s here to guide them and love them because I don’t know of any woman that loves as strong as she does. you were right all these years dad, she has a strong will and the love for her family is endless. i would give my heart, my soul, everything I own just to see you playing with my kids…. one day my wish will be granted but for now I have to wait….

Mom is doing very well, she is enjoying life and making the most of it, you would be proud, although i know your with her and I think she knows it too. she misses you everyday and her heart is yours forever. I will always be with her and love her as best i can until you two can be together again, call me selfish but i hope it’s a little ways off still because i’m not strong enough for her to be with you yet dad……She is an inspiration to me and everyone around, nothing has changed.. she’s still kicking up dust and running the show, you should be proud.

I am proud to call you my father, when I talk to people about you, I smile and tell them what a wonderful man you were and are. thank you for your love and friendship, you and I are together forever, always a team, just a little farther away right now… I know you are dancing in heaven, laughing and resting.

I dream of the day you and I meet again, I have many things to finish here though so keep a close eye on me dad….. I still need you and I always will…We all miss you so very much and love you deeply.

I miss you and love you so much dad, save me a spot right beside you,

Forever loving you

Mike

Still missing you…..

Another year passed dad, another 12 months, 365 days all filled with thoughts of you. I thought by now that perhaps a day might pass that I wouldn’t wonder where you are or what your doing, miss you any less. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My love for you remains as strong as the day you left.

Many things have changed, James is big now, and I find myself thinking of you when I pick him up from daycare. I remember you picking me up and making my whole day so bright, I see that in his eyes now and it warms my heart like nothing else. I know now how you felt and I know now how special our bond was and will always be. These memories will never fade and there are so many that a lifetime is not enough to explain the great father you were and still are. I know you knew that each and everyday that you were here with us, and I know there are no regrets.

Mom is well, she is happy and misses you each day, she is living life and you were right all these years……she is the strongest woman I know, period. In fact her strength has remained unbroken even when perhaps mine hasn’t. I vow to do all I can for her while I’m around and promise to watch out for her as best I can. I konw you spend time with us and listen well when I say…. never leave, I need you still, we need you still dad, now and always. No man leaves with an impact like you did, it takes a strong soul and a loving heart to give what you did. Thank you so much.

Not a Sunday goes by without me asking you for some help with football, not a day goes by when I don’t rely on you to guide me through fatherhood, to help me be a good husband and a son to mom, or even as good a friend as you were to others. You stood for all the right things and were true to your word. A genuine man and that is so rare these days. The world is not as bright without you in it.

3 years have passed, I know more will come…..one thing I know for sure is no matter how many years pass our bond will never break, my love will never fade. You are my best friend and I love you so very much. It’s still me and you until the end of time. I know you will be waiting for me the day that I see you again. I know you will guide me once more and show me a clear path, until then I love you always, you’re in my heart, my father my best friend. We miss you so very much. All our love

Forever missing you.

Mike

My dad, my best friend

So much has changed since I saw you last……Life is so different dad. Still 2 years later, not a day passes that I don’t think of you, not a special event goes by without me wanting you there, not a Sunday passes without thoughts of you and I watching football. I miss you so very much and would give my heart and soul to sit with you and talk like we used to so often, if even only for a couple minutes……

I have a son now who warms my heart like I never thought possible. I know he can see you and I know you’re there because we can feel your love. Only now am I beginning to understand what it’s like to have and love a son, I feel a stronger connection than ever before. Every minute I spend with James reminds me of my time with you. If I can give even a little to him of what you gave me I will have succeeded as a father. I have so many questions dad and can’t relate to anyone in this world like I could with you….. How will I make it through? How do I be a successful as you were, most importantly how do I love like you did. Your love and support as a father was unprecedented, you were always there for me, not once did you let me down, and even now I feel as though your teaching me.

No matter what lies ahead, today, tomorrow, a year or until the end of my time… you and I will ALWAYS be a team, like we always were. I have dreams of the day I will see you again, when we can talk like we used to, when I can simply…..be with you. I know that you’ll be waiting for me and until that time, don’t ever leave my side.

You’re always in my heart, you’re always my best friend, and most of all the best man I have ever known! I am honored and so fortunate to be your son. I will never forget our time together. You were our gift, we miss you so very much and are always with you, rest well dad, we love you forever.

Your son with love

To my dear Jim;

I have now ventured 15 months into this enexpected path in my life journey.

Not a day goes by that I do not think of you.I was so fortunate to have shared 32 wonderful years of my life with you. My list of memories is endless.You made me smile every day; especially during my cancer treatment. We were a united front even when we worked together in our business of 10 years. Your parting has made me a stronger person allowing me to conquer things I thought were not possible.

I yearn for your gentle embrace but know that is not possible. My heart is partly empty; I know no other man will fill that void. I will not settle for second best.

Rest well my love. I miss you so very much.

Jan

I has been over a year since we lost our dear frienf Jim. I am so proud of Jan and Micheal for their strength through this painful chapter in their life.

Having spent some of the times with them and celebrating with them the special life of Jim and what he meant to us all. It has truly impacted me in the way that our own feelings of loss seem somewhat selfish as we all tend to look at what we have lost. Through this experience I have learned especially to celebrate the unique and special gift Jim was to be part of my life. We must accept and appreciate the things he brought to us and how he changed each of our lives individually. My life was a much richer experience and having jim be a part of it. I know that the love he shared with both Jan, Micheal and Tasha and his immediate family was second to none. He was truly a gift comparable to no other. Rest in peace my friend and thank you for being my friend.

Dearest Jan, Michael, Fran & Ernie…

Please forgive me but I only learned of Jim’s passing just recently! Needless to say, I was left in shock & awe, as I know you & many others are. I know that words are of little comfort, but I simply wanted you to know how much I admired & respected Jim!…as I admire & respect you!

I always considered it a blessing to know Jim! He inspired me with his sunny smile & cheery sense of humor! I’ll always fondly remember how Jim teased me about arriving at Ornamentals yard with my firewood truck on FIRE!…he laughed so hard he was crying!…I think we used a bucket of his tears of laughter to douse the flames!

I know in my heart that Jim has a welcome place in heaven & one day we’ll rejoice in our reunion! May Jim’s love & the love of Christ continue to reign down upon you!

With love, respect & endless admiration,

Braden VanBryce

Dad,

I miss you as much today as I did a year ago, you will never leave my heart. You were and will always be my best friend. I love you endlessly, I would not be anything without having you in my life. I know one day we will meet again……

I am so sorry to hear of Jim’s passing. I will always remember his non-judgemental kindness in all the years we went to school together. Thank you James

I am so sad to read of Jim’s passing. My heartfelt condolences, Janice, and I will keep Jim in my prayers. As Linda said, I too remember his kindness in our school years. He really was a great guy.

Funny how you remember people from your youth so much better than most. I remember Jim so well from high school. What a great guy. Janice, I’m very sorry to hear (read) about Jim. Most sincere sympathies and prayers.

Lance Brown

Toronto

Slim, Babs and family:

Our sincere sympathy on the sudden passing of Jim.

Ray & Emma Wiseman

I will always have many fond memories of my association with Jim.

Ray

Dearest Janice,

I am still in shock and can’t imagine the sorrow you must feel. Writing the opening salutation I nearly wrote “Dearest Janice and Jim” as my mind is just refusing to somehow believe that Jim has left this realm. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose your partner, friend and paramour in such a sudden fashion. My heart goes out to you in ways I could possibly not hope to paraphrase in mere words alone.

I have always had the kindest regard for Jim and always felt that he was more than a brother-in-law but also a true friend. He always made me feel at home and was so willing to share his knowledge with me and others. I have had many mouth watering meals due to his BBQ acumen. His wry sense of humor was always welcome and sometimes threw a different light on a situation that I could relate to. I will miss him very much.

All in all I think it will take me a while to truly grasp that Jim is among us no longer. I know that all that loved Jim will have some of the same feelings and to those I offer my most heartfelt condolences. I wish there was some words that I could say that would alleviate your pain and suffering but I don’t have any other words to you other than I love you and Michael and if there is anything I can do please let me know.

I leave you with a poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye that says it more elequantly than I could hope to.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

(Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die!)

Love Kim

To all Jim’s family & friends

We will always remember the kind (father, husband, son, best boss, and best friend ever!!!)

He stood tall for all right stuff and had great understanding for the wrong.

Jim always said (I have enough)

All I have to do is phone Jan and say one ice cube or two, how can it be better than that.

Dear Jan, Mike and Tasha

My lips cannot speak, my heart cannot tell what to say, at this time. I wish there were some words that we could all say, but we will remember him and his laugh. Jim will always be on our minds.

If you ever need anything or any help please do not hesitate to call on us.

Debbie, Peter Marley and Keith

I am still so very numb since finding out about Jim’s passing. It just seems like yesterday that we all were graduating from St. Marys High School and him and Janice were married. Jim was a brother to me… a friend and I had such enormous respect for him. My life has so many memories of the things we did together and the laughs we had, all the camping we did together. You made my life so much more fun and full of laughter, I will never forget you and I look forward to meeting again. someday.

My prayers are with all of Jim’s family that we all will have strength through these sad times.