It's only been a few months...days go by slowly....Staying at that house you and I grew up in just...kills me in the inside. I wake up everyday expecting to see you pull up in the driveway with mom. it hurts knowing that won't happen, I will be going to calgary in december. I don't know i'm just trying really hard not to stay in the past. Trandon and I miss you and we can't find selena i hope she's okay its getting colder by the minute. who knows if this whole thing doesn't work out then i'll just join the canadian armed forces because God knows I lost every will left to live. anyways I hope you and mom found peace and can you tell mom I Love Her so fucking much and I wish she could've at least see me graduate but I guess she missed you more and wanted to stay by your side. I Love you and I wish you could've taken me to my first casino or my first Bar. I hope you keep that promise you made me when I was a kid you know that one where you said if dad decides to pick you up you would pick me up first because I can't do anything without my supportive sister by my side. I hope you are doing well in that place where you no longer suffer, I will try my best to stay in this fucked up world but I can say this I ain't having any kids. Ain't no point in starting a family if your kids don't have a grandma or grandpa or auntys so tell mom I love her and remember I will always Love you Nakoda always