Obituary of Marjorie (Marj) Cora LEFAIVRE (nee Ditto)

April 17, 1925 – Champion, Alberta
May 29, 2021 – Calgary, Alberta

Marjorie Cora Lefaivre (nee Ditto) passed away peacefully on Saturday, May 29, 2021, at age 96 in Calgary, Alberta where she lived most of her adult life. Due to Covid restrictions, Marj’s Funeral Mass will be restricted in both size and scope so the family offers this extended obituary as a fitting tribute to Marj’s long and rich life, and for those unable to attend the Prayers and Funeral Mass in person.

Marjorie Cora Ditto, named after the popular song of the day “Margie, I’m always thinking of you…” was born April 17, 1925, at the family grain farm ten miles west of Champion, Alberta. Cherished youngest daughter of Elizabeth (Babe) Istvanffy and Irl Ditto, Marj inherited the pioneer spirit of her prairie homesteader parents. Marj loved life on the farm—especially sing-alongs around the family piano with sisters, Dorothy and Maxine, camping and swimming in the Little Bow, dressing up the farm cats as dollies, riding old Stella in a horse drawn buggy to school, tap-dancing on the frozen pond, singing alto in the church choir, playing high school basketball, attending picnics and playing baseball at the Bar U Ranch, competing and winning music festivals, entertaining her brother Doug (fourteen years her junior) and kicking up her heels at Old Time dances. As Marj matured into a beautiful woman she enjoyed popularity with young and old alike, frequently turning the heads of young men in Champion with her good looks, warmth and sparkling personality!

Marj excelled in school but those were hard times so university seemed an impossible dream. Marj happily settled on working for CIBC.  She was amply compensated for the stress of balancing her cash at day’s end by the sheer joy of chatting with her customers. To the chagrin of other employees, Marj always had an enormous line-up at her wicket while the other tellers stood idle. For several consecutive summers, Marj spent her annual vacation as a working girl at the Banff School of Fine Arts, studying under A.Y. Jackson (one of the original Group of Seven). She had inherited the artistic gene from her Hungarian grandfather, Gyula Istvanffy, a renowned European painter and art critic. A.Y. Jackson’s influence changed Marj forever, sparking in her a life-time passion for oil painting—a hobby that she rekindled in her 70s and 80s—even to the point of featuring her work, for a time, at the About Canada Gallery in Banff. In retirement, Marj found special joy in teaching some of her children and grandchildren how to paint.

Marj transferred from the bank in Lethbridge to a branch in Calgary, where she met her future husband Francis Lefaivre at a church bowling night.  Fran and Marj raised five children together—Wendy, Peter, Susan, Christine and Tim. As Fran’s wife, Marj was thrilled to embrace a whole new extended family.  She adored her mother-in-law, Jean Lefaivre, who she described simply as a ‘saint’; and was pleased to develop a close relationship with her father-in-law, William Lefaivre, who she respected as a ‘good man’.  Her sisters-in-law, Catherine and Marguerite, and brothers-in-law, Paul and Joe, and their spouses and children, widened the family circle of love, bringing Marj much joy and fun-times over the years.

Marj was a fabulous homemaker—gardening, growing a huge garden for freezing, and sewing all of her own, and her children’s clothing.  She was a whiz at costumes and reveled in creating Halloween outfits for her kids—winning several prizes at the Elk Lodge every October 31.  Holidays, and gift-giving in general, were a big deal in the Lefaivre home—any excuse to celebrate!  Christmas preparations began for Marj with the autumn “Bay Day” sale when she and Grandma Ditto would make a day of it, coming home with bags of Christmas treasure. Marj also began sewing garments for Christmas gifts well ahead. Anticipation mounted as she blindfolded each child for a “fitting” of his/her new garments the week before Christmas to make sure the darts, hems, seams and waistlines were just perfect.  Christmas morning was the great unveiling of each child’s new wardrobe—ready for back-to-school in January!  In the busyness of raising a big family in a tiny house on a tight budget, Marj never lost sight of the unique little person in front of her—miraculously cocooning each of her five children in the assurance of the special love she had just for them—gently coaxing the emergence of each child’s particular giftedness and affirming his or her goodness.

Marjorie always said that she’d rather clean a house than cook a meal but joked that because she loved to eat she was forced to learn to cook, and that she did!  Hot cooked breakfasts and lunches were the order of the day and warm cookies greeted her tribe at the end of the school day! A conservative estimate is that Marj prepared 30,000+ meals in her married life—mostly sit down affairs where conversation and good manners were modeled, and squabbles between the kids were refereed with kindness and good humour. Marj claims she did not entertain easily, however her food and hospitality beguiled this fact. Her table settings were superb and holiday food was painstakingly prepared days ahead. Marj’s mouth-watering feasts have become the family standard with favourite recipes passed from generation to generation. To this day, the smell of these special dishes cooking in the oven brings back fond memories of Marj’s joyful face, as she happily laboured in the kitchen, just ‘cuz the gang’s all home!’

Fran was the first to admit that Marj was the woman behind the man. His successful career at Shell Canada, and their thriving family enterprise fondly referred to as the “purse business,” was supported by Marj’s energy, hard work and efficiency. Together, Marj and Fran expanded their importing business into a going concern that involved the whole family packing purses on evenings and weekends for wholesale distribution to major retailers across Canada. It was at the Calgary Stampede where they grew and showcased their business to new heights with several successful booths in the Big 4 Building and Marj as the crackerjack sales manager. Their entrepreneurial spirit was fueled by ambition, ingenuity and generosity—it was fun to make money but it was even more rewarding to give it away in ways that would truly transform lives!

By the time Fran retired from Shell in 1977, Marj and Fran were movers and shakers in Calgary, channelling their energies into Lefaivre Resources which enabled them to create two new charities that supported numerous social justice initiatives. They travelled the world to more than 65 countries, financing or sponsoring various aid organizations that brought water, food, shelter, medicine and restored eyesight to thousands of families devastated by poverty, famine or drought. Nominated by the Mustard Seed (Calgary) Street Ministry and United Way of Calgary, Fran and Marj received the Outstanding Lifetime Philanthropist Generosity of Spirit Award in 2003 for their pioneer role in advancing charitable giving. Later that same year they were honoured by the Rotary Club for their outstanding contribution to the community. Despite their success and notoriety as a couple, Marjorie always remained hard-working and unpretentious.

Marj described her faith as “basic”—always active in parish life, singing alto in Church choirs her whole life, and working behind the scenes to make things happen—she exuded cheerfulness, quiet confidence and a love of people. She made friends easily and like her father Irl, who claimed that he “never met a stranger,” Marj’s genuine warmth and hospitality made a lasting impression on everyone she met. She was a devoted daughter who doted on her elderly parents taking them to appointments, shopping, sewing and styling her Mom’s hair weekly. She loved and admired her sisters Maxine and Dorothy; who were also her dearest friends, and was like a second Mom to her kid brother Doug. She cherished her childhood friends especially Lil Horn (Bietz) and Mavis Moffat (Burton) just two of many beautiful friendships that endured throughout her married life. Marj is fondly remembered by parishioners at St. Joseph, St. Bernard, St. James and Holy Spirit parishes in Calgary; and by her neighbours and friends in Parkdale, Montgomery and Lakeview Village where Fran and Marj raised their growing family and contributed to the life of the community.

Marjorie’s favourite memories included the births of each of her five children, the annual summer family holiday on the beach at Sylvan Lake, attending Champion’s 100 year reunion, travelling to the Orient, Mexico, Europe, Alaska, Australia and South America; and savouring fried chicken and chocolate anything!  As a self-professed “worry wart” Marj kept “to-do lists” well into her 90’s and was insistent that important conversations and decisions be “written down” and carefully filed. Always dressed fashionably, Marj had a flare for large costume jewellery, bold colours and her trademark coral lipstick—always freshly applied!  Marj believed you owed it to yourself, and “everyone who needs to look at you”, to look your best at all times—even when taking out the garbage!  In the early years, Marj would laboriously pick apart Fran’s well-worn suits to remake them into two piece suits for her, or dress pants for the children. Later in life, she even had a brief foray with making tie-dye silk scarves and jewellery—the latter involving melting strips of colourful plastic in hot water!  She had a special knack for putting together spectacular ensembles on a shoestring budget that looked like expensive runway creations.

Speaking of runways, Marj was known to stir up a little excitement on the road too—like the time she confessed to pulling up to a red light in her yellow Corvette (an 85th birthday gift from her son Tim) and glancing across to the driver beside her who rolled down his window and shouted out to Marj, “heh lady, wanna drag?”—she responded with a playful wink and a surge to the gas pedal, promptly taking off and leaving the young man in a cloud of dust!

After her beloved husband Francis passed away in 2007, Marjorie continued to enjoy their beautiful home in Lakeview Village and with the help of her son Tim, daughter Susan, and their families she successfully managed the large garden and home maintenance for many years. Daughter Chris from Peachland, BC, bought a condo to winter in Calgary and became Marj’s sidekick on fun adventures to Hungary, Germany and resort spots in the sun. In later years this happy duo also shared not-so-exotic trips to the hospital where Chris lived-in to provide Marj with much-appreciated support, comfort and advocacy. Frequent visits from Wendy in Ontario, Peter in Kentucky and her devoted grandchildren were highlights that marked her days.  All five of her kids checked in with her several times a week.  Her life remained rich and full.

At age 90, Marj decided to sell the family home. Her next port of call, the Chateau Renoir was conveniently located down the road from her daughter Susan. For four years Sue became Marj’s “go-to” gal—running errands, driving her to appointments, popping in for visits, going on girls’ shopping trips and inviting her to family dinners, BBQ’s and holiday celebrations with the Cosgrove/Bakalik/Lefaivre clans. When Marj’s care needs increased again she moved to a new facility with enhanced elder care—this time to Manor Village at Fish Creek Park.Throughout this next phase of the aging process, Marj continued to be blessed by the loving attention of her children, grandchildren, in-laws, extended family, old friends, neighbours and parishioners—each person taking advantage of this graced opportunity to reach out to Marj in special ways to let her know how much she meant to them. Indeed, it appeared to Marj that life had come full circle.  After decades of self-giving, Marj could at last sit back, relax, take stock and soak up the love.

On her 90th Birthday, Marj mused that she hoped she would be remembered as someone who is honest, true to herself, and mindful of her pioneer roots. Marj put her family before her own needs and claims her greatest joy was watching her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren grow into wonderful human beings. Reflecting on her life, Marjorie declared that her faith was at the core of all her thoughts and activities. She insisted that God’s will isn’t hard to figure out—it’s just a matter of right and wrong—and doing what’s best for others!  Her parting words to two of her great grandchildren, ages three and five, just days before her passing, poignantly captures her deep faith, as she encouraged them with this statement: “Remember, I love you. Say your prayers, and only do what God would want you to do!”

Marjorie gave the warmest hugs and made the world’s best pot of tea—the combination of which drew visitors like a magnet around her kitchen table to enjoy conversation and laughter with this remarkable woman!  Amongst her most memorable qualities was Marj’s uncommon ability to demonstrate the genuine love she felt for you with a simple gesture—a touch to the arm, a radiant smile and a knowing look from those unforgettable piercing blue eyes! If you have been fortunate to know Marjorie intimately, as a family member or cherished friend, you will be able to close your eyes now and recall being held in her warm and tender embrace.

As Marj’s life drew to a close she was profoundly aware of the “letting go” that was demanded of her. With deteriorating health she became a model of what it means to age with grace and dignity—remaining patient, gracious, cheerful and grateful for life’s blessings until her final moments. She had the gift of affirmation, instinctively knowing what others needed to hear in order to courageously confront life’s challenges. She never held a grudge, was quick to forgive and often punctuated her animated story-telling with laughter that was both genuine and infectious. Marj was a lover of life, a devoted daughter, sister, wife, mother, nana, aunt, cousin and friend.  She was a woman of many talents that she generously shared with others.  She leaves an inspiring legacy of what it means to be a person of faith and integrity—yet she would be humbled by such accolades, preferring to be remembered only as a good old-fashioned farm girl!

In the last two years of her life, Marj’s daughters, Chris and Wendy were honoured to be invited to partner with Marj on the final important leg of her life’s journey. Appointed personal directives, the two sisters became a formidable tag-team in advocating for Marj at all levels of the health care system and co-ordinating their Mom’s care, liaising with doctors, Manor staff, and myriad of service providers; as well as recruiting, training and scheduling a roster of private companions. From this unique vantage, the sisters were privileged witnesses of their Mother’s ‘finest hour’. In surrendering to her growing frailty, infirmity and suffering, Marjorie quietly revealed her trust in God’s plan for her life and her willingness to accept each day as it comes.

Marjorie’s devoted companions walked this arduous road with her and became increasingly important when the pandemic restricted the family’s ability to be there.  Their compassion, kindness and untiring devotion enhanced Marj’s quality of life immeasurably during this last chapter. Heartfelt thanks are not words enough to express the family’s gratitude for the love and joy these remarkable women brought to Marj these past two years. Mary Y, Fentik, Meseret, Mary K, Irene, Leni, Wumi, Shanti, Sarah, Karen, Janna, Ryley, Sofia, Val, Janett and Ann-Marie —will always hold a special place in the hearts of Marj’s family.  In the face of many challenges, these exceptional women lifted Marj’s spirits, and filled her days with happy thoughts, fun activities and stimulating conversation.

Marjorie—you are deeply loved and we are all forever grateful for the privilege of walking this earth with you.  We are better people for having known you and you will remain in our hearts always. May your eternal soul rest in peace and may you experience the presence and the joy of the Risen Lord as a reward for a life so well-lived!

Marjorie was predeceased by her loving husband, Francis Lefaivre, her infant sister Barbara, her sisters, Dorothy Gingras (Jay), and Maxine Hutchings (George); and her grandchildren, Julie Cosgrove and Gentry Aubrey. She will be sadly missed by her surviving family, her brother Doug Ditto (Kaye), her children, Wendy Bodsworth (Steve), Peter Lefaivre (Connie), Susan Cosgrove (John), Christine Lefaivre, and Tim Lefaivre (Susan); her ten grandchildren, Kelly Lefaivre (Trevor Pratt), Christopher Lefaivre (Jill), Sean Lefaivre (Nicole), Nancy Boss (Jeff), Ginny Hogervorst (Eric), Michael Bodsworth, Carolyn Cosgrove (Neil McVeigh), Andrea Cosgrove (Tom McMurray), Michael Lefaivre, and  Elizabeth Lefaivre; and her seventeen great-grandchildren, Taylor, Georgia and Cooper Pratt; Gabrielle and Amelia Lefaivre; Addison and Blake Lefaivre; Cecilia, Stephen, Jack and Nathan Boss; Eliana, Felicity, Matthew and Isabel Hogervorst; and Hudson and Wylder McVeigh.

Condolences, memories and photos may be shared and viewed on Marjorie’s obituary at www.McInnisandHolloway.com. In honour of Marj’s life and legacy the family would be grateful for donations in her name to the Operation Eyesight Universal, 4 Parkdale Crescent N.W., Calgary, AB T2N 3T8 Telephone: 403-283-6323, www.operationeyesight.com, or the Mustard Seed Street Ministry, 102 – 11 Avenue S.E., Calgary, AB T2G 0X5 Telephone: 403-269-1319, www.theseed.ca, or the United Way of Calgary and Area, #600, 1202 Centre Street S.E., Calgary, AB T2G 5A5 Telephone: 403-231-6265, www.calgaryunitedway.org, or the Heart & Stroke Foundation of Alberta, 200, 119 – 14th Street N.W., Calgary, AB T2N 1Z6 Telephone: 403-264-5549, www.heartandstroke.ca, or the Canadian National Institute for the Blind, 15 Colonel Baker Place N.E., Calgary, AB T2E 4Z3 Telephone: 403-261-7219. or the Alzheimer Society of Calgary, 800, 7015 Macleod Trail S.W., Calgary, AB T2H 2K6, Telephone: 403-290-0110, www.alzheimercalgary.com.

A private Prayer Service will be held on Monday, June 21, 2021 at 7:30 p.m. A private Funeral Mass will be held on Tuesday, June 22, 2021 at 1:00 p.m. Family and friends are invited to join Mrs. Lefaivre’s services streamed live (see below) on the day of the services. For those who are unable to view live, a recording of the service will be posted. Condolences, memories and photos can also be shared and viewed here.

In living memory of Marjorie Lefaivre, a tree will be planted in the Ann & Sandy Cross Conservation Area by McInnis & Holloway Funeral Homes, Park Memorial, 5008 Elbow Drive SW, Calgary, AB T2S 2L5, Telephone: 403-243-8200.

Marjorie's memorial card can be viewed with this link

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