We each grieve in our own way. For me, I’ll just say that I miss you already, that I feel even more alone now that you’ve gone.

Michael

Barry Gerding

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

If you are lucky, there are people you meet in your life that make an impression that stays with you always. Auntie Norma was one of those people for me.

She was a force of nature, someone who despite being restricted to her wheelchair led such a full and engaging life. She always seemed to be at the centre of the Gerding family universe, aware of the comings and goings of everyone and always proud to share in the exploits and achievements of her own family.

I have never met anyone quite like her. She was truly unique.

Growing up in Richmond, B.C., in the ‘70s, we were separated by distance from most of the Gerding clan in Alberta. But a constant in those years were the summer visits from the O’Hares. When they pulled up in the driveway with their trailer, we knew our B.C. family was about to get a shot of Alberta adrenaline.

Those visits were so much fun and unpredictable. And as many others have said, there was always laughter. Lots of laughter.

My own favourite story about Auntie Norma was about food. And lots of it. I was passing through Calgary many years ago, and I stopped at the O’Hare house for morning visit.

When I arrived, she was busy in the kitchen. She immediately sat me down and insisted I eat breakfast. I wasn’t a big breakfast eater back then, but it was hard to say no. So I figured she’d offer up a slice of toast and glass of juice, but she served up a meal with just about every breakfast food option you could think of.

As the morning went on, I moved out to the dining room, talking back and forth with her as she was still busy in the kitchen, out of my sight. I heard a lot of clanging and banging so I figured she was cleaning up from breakfast.

Then in the middle of the conversation, she yelled out, “How do you like you’re steak?” That was followed by, “Do you like gravy with your mashed potatoes?”

At that point, I thought maybe she had other people coming over for lunch. But I was wrong. Auntie Norma wheeled herself out of the kitchen with a lunch plate of steak and mashed potatoes. There was no one else coming to visit.

It was barely two hours since she served up breakfast, and now here came lunch. I think I was five pounds heavier when I left that day compared to when I arrived.

To this day, thinking where she found the energy to do all that for her visiting nephew is beyond me.

RIP Auntie Norma. You will be missed by so many.

Barry Gerding

Rarely does someone pass and everyone from ALL walks of life have the same words of what that person meant to them. Norma was my Aunt, my Dad's sister, my Mom's sister-in-law and we truly had the same life experience with her as so many others. Her husband, her children, her grand children, her great-grand children know this better than anybody yet we all seem to share the same experience which is pretty special. Including her dogs... forgot all their names but Patches and Sherman I recall, all blessed by being her "fur babies"! So all I have to add is my Mom has been in a care home since 2019, with vascular dementia, and with that she lives in the past but does have some moments of clarity of the present. I saw her yesterday, instead of telling her I wrote down "Dear Mom, Norma O'Hare has passed away" .. she just kept looking at my note and then looked at me, and there were tears, so we both cried. That's the power of Norma O'Hare...

Auntie Norma was a wonderful and unique person. She was fun loving, feisty, strong, smart, talented, loving, and beautiful inside and out. I have many memories of special times spent in her company. But the thing I remember most was the laughter. Always the laughter.

So many people will mourn your loss and miss you deeply, and I am one of them. Goodbye Auntie Norma, will miss you always.

Edna Wilson

It was a sad day when I heard of Auntie Norma's passing. As one of her and Uncle Nat's nephews, I used to spend a lot of time at their place horsing around with cousin Patrick. I'm sure I was a nuisance sometimes, but she and Nat always made me feel welcome. Even though Auntie Norma spent most of her life in a wheelchair, she didn't let that stop her from living a very full life. She was absolutely the most selfless and giving person I have ever met.

One thing she did stands out in my memory. At Lyn's wedding reception in 1974, there must have been nearly a hundred people there. Auntie Norma went around to every person seated in that room, introduced them, and explained how they were connected to the family. It was brilliant! I'm sure everyone had a more enjoyable evening because of that.

So long, Auntie Norma. I will miss you greatly, as will everyone who knew you.

Ken Gerding

My heart broke when I heard the news of Auntie Norma's death. So I sat down and put my heartache into words I could share

with everyone else who felt the same.... Lyn asked me to share it with you.....

282-1190

That’s a number that will remain etched in my memory forever.

282-1190

Kids today live to get to go to Disneyland.

I couldn’t wait to get to 282-1190

282-1190 was Auntie Norma & Uncle Nat’s phone # when they moved into their new house in Brentwood in northwest Calgary.

282-1190 meant happiness, fun, good food and just pure joy.

My Dad was Auntie Norma’s brother and we went up to visit them quite often.

But we were kids from the farm and while we could tell you how many gopher holes were in that corner of the pasture, or where the old Momma cat had moved her batch of kittens too, we knew nothing about Calgary. Nothing about traffic or how to keep our bearings or the dangers the big city could hold.

So before we were allowed to leave the house to go explore the city neighborhood, Mom & Dad made sure we all knew Auntie Norma and Uncle Nat’s phone # in case we got in over our heads. Without hesitating, we had to be able to instantly repeat 282-1190.

As the years went by and the visit count rose we all… and there are there are 7 of us…. knew by heart…. 282-1190.

But to me…

282-1190 as I grew up and looked back, had also came to mean love, understanding, encouragement, support, and all the other things a person just sometimes needs a little help with.

282-1190 meant a big smile greeting you at the door and the booming laughter that would emit from her soul as you told her of the latest fiasco you had gotten into or brought upon yourself.

282-1190 meant sitting down to the best plate of leftovers or whatever was handy and loving every minute of it. If it was a peanut butter and jam sandwich and kool aid with no sugar in it like she gave me one time…. it was time well spent.

But that didn’t mean that 282-1190 wasn’t completely capable of giving you a bawling out like you have never had before. She knew the rules of the game of life and if she thought you hadn’t been following them… then don’t come back thinking she was gonna feel sorry for you.

And when you left 282-1190, you just felt better. The world was a good place. Not all people were out to get you and you could even remember how to smile again.

282-1190 was just like that.

And she wasn’t like that to just me. She was like that to everyone who ever met her!

I lost my Mom many, many years ago and that was catastrophic to me.

282 – 1190 was my Auntie Norma and she took over where Mom left off.

She was my confidant, my advisor, my friend, and my mentor. She never turned me away and she never gave up on me.

Just as she never turned away anyone or gave up on them. She could always see the best in everybody and she always wanted everyone else to do the same. In the last visit I had with her, she said “There’s always some good in everybody”. I disagreed with her and she very vehemently repeated “There’s always some good in everybody”.

She could always see both sides of the story… but she’d also tell you if she thought your side wasn’t the right side.

For all the hurt, heart ache and disappointment she had survived in her lifetime she always made sure that she looked after the heartaches and sorrows of everyone else first.

She truly believed that life was too short to see it in dull colors!

She had the wings of an angel on her back and she wore them well.

She knew that happiness was something that you had to decide upon for yourself what you wanted it mean. You had to make your own happiness.

My Dad was in a senior’s home for awhile and he hated every minute of it. I wished so often that he would have had Auntie Norma’s attitude.

She knew that whether she liked it there or not didn’t depend on the size of the room or how the furniture was arranged…. She knew it was in how she arranged her mind about it.

She could always see the best in everything.

She knew living in the home and being happy meant waking up and making the same decision she made every other day of her life. She’d just make the best of it.

She could spend the day in bed recounting all the difficulties she had with many parts of her body that no longer worked or she could get on with her day and be thankful for the parts that still did.

She knew that everyday was a gift and she would take on the day with a smile and all the happy memories she had stored away over the years would be ready to keep her company in the times she felt alone.

She knew that life was like a bank account: you can only withdraw what you first put in!

And Auntie Gorgeous, I thank you for your part in filling my memory bank…. And I am making a deposit in your name!

Auntie Norma was always posting happy little twibbits on Facebook to express her love for her friends and family and to help them see the world the way she did.

One time she posted a message saying

“THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO LOVES ME!”

I just felt compelled to offer her in return some of the support she had always given me so I made a post and I said…

“There are people with whom we share our lives, who make us better people just by the very fact that they exist.

You, my darling Auntie Norma are one of those people. Now matter how dismal your day is and how much pain you are in or how heavy your heart is… you always strive to make my day brighter.

No matter how lonely you are feeling and how lonely your world sometimes might seem….. you always know just what to say to tell me you love me and will always be there for me.

For these and a hundred thousand more reasons… my dearest Auntie you should NEVER thank me for loving you….

I should bow down to your loveliness, your kind heart and as Lyn would say… your “sensibilities”.

I know that almost everyone who ever had the pleasure of knowing her is feeling the impact of losing her very heavily. So I know you’ll share my thoughts that I passed along to her in a poem I wrote in her honor many years ago….

Auntie Norma… if you’re listening… this is for you… but this time.. it’s from all of us…

When the skies are dark

And our hearts are too..

When the sun comes out

We’ll think of you.

You picked us up

With your loving heart

You make us all smile

When we’re falling apart

Your love was the glue

That held us together

And you’ll live in our hearts

Forever and ever.

I am sure that the floorboards of heaven will be a bouncing tonight!

Grandma Gerding will be cooking up a storm, Uncle Joe will be a blowin’ on the sax…Uncle Ray will be taking pictures with a camera he still can’t run… and Auntie Eileen will be telling jokes and laughing. Dad will be banging away on the piano, Grandpa Joe will be calling the square dances and Auntie Margaret will be singing. Uncle Arnold will be showing off that big smile of his and telling his jokes badly.

And in middle of the floor ……

Will be Auntie Norma

and for the first time in what must have seemed like a million years….. she’ll be dancing.

There’ll be a knock on the door….. and Uncle Cecil who was killed in WWII will walk in… and everyone will cry.

It’s been a long, long time since they’ve all been together.

To her children, her grandchildren and her great grandchildren

All of whom are no doubt hurting most of all I would like to offer

This poem….

Auntie Norma and I often talked about our shared love of the mountains.

…..I think she put this in my heart to give you to help you on this very dark day…

If the mountains seem too big today..

Then climb a hill instead.

If the morning brings you sadness

It’s ok to stay in bed

If the day ahead weighs heavy

And your plans feel like a curse,

There’s no shame in call “time out”,

Just don’t make yourself feel worse.

If the shower stings like needles

And in a bath you feel you’ll drown,

If you haven’t washed your hair for days

Don’t worry about your crown.

A day is not a lifetime

A rest is not defeat,

Don’t think of it as failure,

Just a very much needed retreat.

It’s ok to take a moment

In a broken, fractured day

The world will keep on turning

If you want to stop and pray.

The mountains will still be there

When your heart is healed again,

You can climb them in your own time,

Just love yourself till then.

I never knew what “I miss you” meant … till I reached out for her hand…

And it wasn’t there.

Norma was a wonderful person.I feel grateful to have her as a friend.she loved her 3 children and her grad and great grandchildren.She faced all of life challenges with optimism and courage.She made the world a better place .She will be missed by all that had the pevilage to know her . Rest In Peace friend Norna

So many mourning the loss of a treasured friend in Norma, at Royal Park. She will be greatly missed ❤. Wishing consoling memories to all whose lives she touched.