There is a sadness to Suzi`s sudden passing from this life to the next, that has left me numb and feeling moments of disbelief. BUT through the comfort of friends and family that were near her, I know now that she was surrounded by real people, who loved and cared for her, this brings me comfort.
We shared a bedroom together all our childhood and teenage years, sharing many secrets, until our older sister, Roberta moved out of the family home.
She was the sweetest of sisters who looked out for me, took care of me and helped me with my homework, especially maths and geography. She had the patience of job as we say in Ireland.
Suzi was always a REAL person, she understood human behaviour and had high degrees of empathy in her youth. She talked me through real life issues, in her own gentle, uncondemning way. When I was 13 years old I hide myself in a closet after school because I thought I was dying. I was bleeding. When she came home she searched for me, found me out and taught me about the birds and the bees, in a way I understood. She saw details in every aspect of life on this planet, and sought out truth. She loved Jesus with a passion and thirst. I know she called by aunt Vera’s house several times a week after school to discuss spiritual truths. She was an evangelist in her college years, and people were drawn to the truth of the gospel she testified. She was an encourager, using her artist skills to brighten up people’s lives.
When I was 16, Suzi moved to Canada to marry her Canadian sweetheart, signalling the start of my grieving the closeness of her love. I have grieved for many years over the loss of that closeness to a big sister that was my anchor, a guiding light, a balm for my soul.
Relationships in the family changed, and this added to my grief, although I never lost hope finding this closeness again. Now there is no hope of this closeness, this side of heaven, and somehow the loss became deeper these past 2 weeks, so final.
My throat feels dry just writing this truth, I try to focus on life, it’s been a challenge through this grief. So I write, encouraged to do so by a family friend, who is also grieving. In her address to me she wrote “God sends people into our lives to teach us life lessons. Once these lessons have been shared, or learnt, he takes them HOME”. So if this is a truth, then in knowing that God is a good God, I must conclude that Suzi`s passing to her heavenly home was allowed to happen. I’ll never understand it, but I will trust in a good God.
So what are the life lessons from Suzi`s life and death?
I see that her life tells us we need each other, BUT we need to take this truth deeper, to reach out to each other in unconditional love and acceptance. Be REAL people.
So I say to a beloved, sweetie pie big sister. I will walk in truth, love and be real: Mizpah (gen31v49), (meaning, “the deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death”.) You were loved just as you were.
