Obituary of Phyllis Agnes D'Souza

July 6, 1942 – Tiruchirappalli, India

April 6, 2024 – Calgary, Alberta

Phyllis D’Souza, beloved wife of the late Lawrence Edward D’Souza, of Calgary, AB, passed away suddenly on Saturday, April 6, 2024, at the age of 81 years.

Phyllis was born in the railway town of Golden Rock, Tiruchirappalli (Trichy) India, on July 6, 1942. In 2000, she immigrated with her husband to Toronto, ON, from Mumbai, India, eventually settling in Calgary, AB, in 2005.

In the late 1950s, Phyllis pursued higher education at Holy Cross College in Tiruchirapalli, following her graduation from St. Joseph’s Anglo Indian Girls High School in Cantonment, Tiruchirappalli, in 1958. She married on January 23, 1961, as part of a double wedding with her elder sister, the late Merlyn Noronha.

In Calgary, Phyllis was introduced to CANOSCA (the Canadian Overseas Seniors Christian Association) and became a member with Lawrence. She delighted in playing whist and other card games, forming good friendships along the way. In Mumbai, she dedicated her time to the Ladies Sodality at St. Andrew’s Parish, Bandra, and volunteered where she could be helpful.

Phyllis' culinary skills were well known, honed through her enthusiasm for learning different cuisines and attending cooking classes. From each class, she brought home delectable goodies for her kids to sample, much to their delight. Her sewing talents were equally impressive, crafting stylized garments for her daughter with love and care. A favourite of Cheryl’s was a denim skirt.

She got so good at coming up with delectable lunch and dinner spreads that her nieces and nephews eagerly looked forward to invitations for any occasion.

In her later years in Canada, Phyllis found joy in the simple pleasures of bread making, gardening, and tending to her vibrant potted plant patch on the balcony, filled with colorful and fragrant flowers like petunias and carnations each summer. Despite facing health challenges, she was comforted by music, often listening to country and golden oldies, even whilst walking.

Phyllis didn't enter the workforce until later, once her children were out of school. However, she learned to adapt and took great pride in her work in administration in India. In 1984, she took her first overseas trip with her husband and kids to the United Kingdom to attend the wedding of her niece, a memorable visit with her sister Hazel and her family.

Phyllis would often recall a saying learned as a child in boarding school: “What cannot be cured must be endured.” It stayed with her throughout much of her life.

She will be most remembered as a loving and supportive wife and mother. Her warm smile and genuine interest in everyone she encountered, including her caregivers in recent years, drew people to her. Despite facing challenges of her own, she always took the time to inquire about their families and showed genuine care and compassion.

Phyllis will also hold a special place in the hearts of her numerous nephews and nieces, fondly known as Aunty Phyllis. They adored her for her warm hospitality and delicious food.

As the youngest sibling, she was much loved by her two older sisters. Her sister Grettle affectionately referred to her as "Sunny," recalling her as a perfectionist with a profound, personal Catholic faith. Her niece recalls her as an "elegant lady," while another nephew fondly remembers her for her mastery of "delicious Chinese noodles."

Phyllis had a friend from her school days in Trichy, India, Yolly, a close friendship that she maintained even after immigrating to Canada.

As her daughter, I remember Mum for her natural elegance, sweet, smiling face, and straightforward, no-nonsense approach. She was loving yet firm, always ensuring things were done precisely as needed. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell it like it was. If Mum was in your corner, you were better for it.

Phyllis was blessed with a complete and rich life, a large portion of which was characterized by her active, energetic self. Family was important to her; she did all she could to keep the bonds close, even if not always successful. A breast cancer survivor, she faced all that came at her bravely, determined to cope and overcome. In her final years, battling chronic kidney disease and related illnesses took its toll, but she faced it with remarkable inner strength and resilience, a testament to her character.

Phyllis is survived by her children, daughter Cheryl in Calgary, AB, and son Shawn (Ingrid), in Ajax, ON; her grandson Kevin, in Ajax, ON, and her two elder sisters, Hazel in East Sussex, United Kingdom, and Grettle, in Austin, Texas, USA. She is also survived by her brother-in-law Jerry and sister-in-law Jessie in Bangalore, India, as well as numerous nephews, nieces, cousins, and friends in the US, UK, Australia, and India.

She was predeceased by her loving husband Lawrence, her parents, Lawrence and Lily D’Souza; her in-laws, her sister Merlyn (Bathie) Noronha, her brothers-in-law, and her sisters-in-law.

Those wishing to pay their respects may do so at McInnis & Holloway (Park Memorial, 5008 Elbow Drive SW, Calgary, AB) on Sunday, April 21, 2024, from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. or may do so on Monday, April 22, 2024, from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. 

Funeral Mass will be celebrated at St. Cecilia’s Catholic Church (321 – 90th Avenue S.E., Calgary, AB) on Wednesday, April 24, 2024, at 11:00 a.m. Reception to follow in the Parish Hall of the Church. An Inurnment will be held at St. Mary’s Cemetery (Erlton St. & 31 Avenue SW, Calgary, AB), on Friday, April 26, 2024, at 1:30 p.m.

Family and friends who are unable to attend in person are invited to join Phyllis’ service streamed live (see link below) on the day of the service. For those who are unable to view live, a recording of the service will be posted.

If friends so desire, memorial tributes may be made directly to the Kidney Foundation of Canada, 6007 – 1A Street S.W., Calgary, AB T2H 0G5 Telephone: (403) 255-6108, www.kidney.ca.

Condolences, memories, and photos may be shared and viewed with Phyllis’ family here.

In living memory of Phyllis D’Souza, a tree will be planted in the Ann & Sandy Cross Conservation Area by McInnis & Holloway Funeral Homes, Park Memorial, 5008 Elbow Drive SW, Calgary, AB T2S 2L5, Telephone: 403-243-8200.

Click to Sign the Video Guest Book and Watch Phyllis' Funeral Mass