The Importance of Being Ernest
Ernie Wheadon 1937-2024
I grew up two doors from the Wheadon family, in an upscale professional neighbourhood, in an almost-identical house. Both their dad Ernie Wheadon and our dad CR (Dick) DeLand were warm, friendly, intelligent, and accomplished mountaineers and skiers. Ernie was an engineer, and Dick an engineer/geologist.
I first met Ernie at age 6. I was representing the feared Spider-Men soccer team, in a blood feud with tiny rivals Mod Squad. Our team were playing like the entropic child-amoeba you’d expect of 6-year-olds, when by some spark of talent, a crystal of order appeared among the squirming shin-kicks, and the ball found the net.
Words cannot convey the sheer enthusiasm of Ernie Wheadon celebrating the sporting success of 6-year-olds. At once laughing at the chaos and bursting with pride in our efforts. Eyes bright with excitement, delighting in our tiny achievements. We grubby wild-eyed tots could tell that Ernie was sincerely invested in us. He had our backs.
Ernie’s son Blair and I were in the same grade at school, and Blair and Ruth were friends of mine. Over the course of elementary, their rooms filled with trophies and medals. Hockey, swimming, ringette, more. They had talent, but Ernie was their secret weapon, driving them to practice, and ensuring they had the quality equipment, coaching and dad energy they needed to be successful. And they were.
My brother Chad and I loved sports too, always duelling in hockey, basketball and skateboarding, in the driveway and street. And there was Ernie, walking toward us, coach and cheerleader, big smile, keeping an eye on us, approving our hustle, energy, and new skills.
When we undertook pre-teen entrepreneurship, mowing lawns in the summer heat, shoveling snow, subzero newspaper routes, he gave us the same approval and encouragement. He saw our efforts, and more importantly he saw us, and our emerging character.
When I was 8 our parents marriage ended, and our dad Dick made the difficult decision to move out of the family home. We spent Saturdays with our dad, but he wasn’t around every day. Two doors down though, Ernie’s flow of paternal energy was as generous as ever. And when I was 12 and our dad’s career path took him back to the USA, there was Ernie, right in front of me, walking up the street with his friendly smile and good advice.
When I decided to become an architect, Ernie was renovating the Wheadon house, so he hired, trained and paid us to pour the new concrete foundation. He understood how deeply important it is to young people to be part of a team, to contribute, to be seen and acknowledged, and to be paid for their work. He understood that the best thing you can give a young person is a job. He understood that love is something you do. It’s an action.
When I had a setback in my 20s, it was Ernie who took me aside and said, “If you decide that you’re okay with it, other people will be too.” An insight I’d pass to a young person now, because as any athlete knows, coaching when you win is important, and coaching when you’re not winning is ten times more so.
And when I had early architecture success, it was Ernie, not my parents, who drove out to the completed project, walked through it, and reported back to me. “I went to your project. It’s excellent. I think you’re doing pretty well for being 26. I think you’re going to be very successful.”
And when we abruptly lost our good friend Dave Wood, it was Ernie who simply cried for another’s son.
I’d love to be standing here accepting an Olympic gold medal, NBA championship ring, Thrasher SOTY, a Nobel, or the Pritzker Prize. That hasn’t happened, yet. But I am standing here. I’m in the game, and a key factor in my favour is the belief in me shown by accomplished neighbourhood dads like Ernie Wheadon. Ernie saw my potential, and spoke to the better part of me that was aspiring to leadership.
Ernie is in a shortlist of dad figures, and big brother figures, whose belief in my emerging talent and character made a real difference to my younger self. Ernie Wheadon, George Din, Ian Hindmarsh, Gerhard Kast, Bill Wood, Kevin Pelehos, Ken Achenbach, Rob Ollerenshaw, Ken Hutchinson, Michael Shugarman.
Ernie Wheadon’s primary legacy is his children Blair and Ruth, his long marriage to Lynn, and his professional body of work. But there’s a secondary legacy around the edges, it’s his positive influence on the other neighbourhood kids, to whom he was a coach and mentor and dad figure.
Ernie Wheadon was first and foremost a very kind man, who loved the people in his life, and lived it in word and action. Ernie showed up every day for all of us, not just to base camp, but for the entirety of his journey.
