Obituary of Monica Donna Willard

October 31, 1972 – Calgary, Alberta

September 15, 2024 – Calgary, Alberta

 

Monica Donna Willard of Calgary, AB, passed away on Sunday, September 15, 2024, at the age of 51 years.

 

The universe lost a bright light that day, and I’m still trying to come to terms with it. I’m going to write this obituary not to a preformatted template, but as more of a story. Monica in my world (just like in others’ lives around her) was never a template - but a smirky, strong, and humorous sass about her that I so loved.

 

Bastian: Why is it so dark?

The Childlike Empress: In the beginning, it is always dark.

― The Neverending Story

 

Monica was no stranger to cancer, having lost both her parents to it at an early age. Despite that she lived with families of friends, and pushed through school - and later University, while working multiple jobs to support herself.

 

I met Monica one late afternoon when I “volunteered” (lol) for a night shift at the Tramps Music Kensington location, after learning that the old owner had “hired a girl” which was almost an impossible task with the owners’ mindset. So, I strolled in all cocky-like with a bag of chips and jumped behind the counter like I owned the place. What a dork I was. But there was something about her even from that brief meeting that just stuck with me. Later, I was skittishly able to ask her out (badly might I add), but we quickly fell for each other. I moved in with her not too long after that into our little “granny suite” apartment in Bridgeland.

 

We had our first dog together, our fawn pug puppy Molly, and made a little life there in that small place. It was a hole in the wall (bedroom just fit our mattress) but we’d work, watch geeky shows and movies (Star Trek, Doctor Who and such). We lived our lives and grew closer and closer together. After a couple years we had more talks about our next steps––and I asked her to marry me in Canmore over dinner (Yup, she said yes…despite my awkward proposal).

 

I still remember our wedding like it was yesterday. September 25, 2004, at the Calgary Zoo Conservatory. Peacocks running wild in the grass—Monica’s dress and her green shoes. The cake, the friends, and family. Her smile. And yes, my trip to an ER later that night (humorous story). This September 25th would have been our 20th wedding anniversary.

 

“These fragile bodies of touch and taste

This fragrant skin, this hair like lace

Spirits open to the thrust of grace

Never a breath you can afford to waste”

– Lovers in a Dangerous Time (Barenaked Ladies / Bruce Cockburn – our wedding first dance song)

 

In the years that followed, we built a business together, ZoltanGal, built our home from the ground up, and had two AMAZING boys, Riley and Daniel. We had our struggles, but we flourished watching the kids grow up and be a part of every moment of their lives. We often said together that we shared the “same braincell” as we’d finish each other’s sentences and come up with the same ideas out of the blue together. It was uncanny how in-tune we were. Pure magic.

 

Monica ended up fighting a hard battle with cancer these past three years with such amazing grace—not for herself, not for me—but instead for our boys. She never wanted to give up, despite the challenges and pain. Monica never gave up. We never saw cancer coming, but we made the best of it as a family. This summer friends and family helped us buy a camping trailer so we could build on more memories. We made every moment count.

 

She died in my arms in hospice care on Sunday, September 15, 2024, at 5:40 p.m. surrounded by friends, her sisters, Sharon and Karen, their kids, our boys, and my mom Gwen and sister Kim.

 

The best part of my life died that day. I feel robbed of our time together, and my soul ripped from my chest. Monica was (and IS) the light of my life, my rock, my guiding force, my everything. There are no words that can express what a wonderful human, mother, sister, auntie, or wife that she was.

 

I wouldn’t change a moment of the life we’ve had—and I’m a better man and father because of her. Her smile, laughter, witty jokes, and passion for everything and everyone around her, always inspires me to be better.

 

I am so torn letting her go, but Monica had a long, rough, and hard battle. The boys know how much you love them and how you’ve persevered through these last few hard years. I feel so very, very, very grateful to have been a part of your life. I don’t know how to move forward, but I know she’ll always be with me.

 

Monica: Until I see you again my love. I am incomplete without you.

 

Jess, Riley and Daniel.

 

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

 

It's something unpredictable

But in the end, it's right

I hope you had the time of your life

 

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind

Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time

Tattoos of memories, and dead skin on trial

For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while

 

It's something unpredictable

But in the end, it's right

I hope you had the time of your life

― Green Day, time of your life

 

Condolences, memories, and photos may be shared and viewed with Monica’s family here.

 

In living memory of Monica Willard, a tree will be planted in the Ann & Sandy Cross Conservation Area by McInnis & Holloway Funeral Homes, Fish Creek, 14441 Bannister Road SE, Calgary, Ab t2x 3j3, Telephone: 403-256-9575.