My mom…. at 97, her years were many, but she was ALWAYS young at heart.
My mother lived a full and interesting life. She was gifted in her mathematical ability which she used to become an Olympian Bridge player. She played twice for Team Canada, once going to Amsterdam where they made a great showing. In Palm Springs she liked to play Blackjack at the casino. Her perfect memory for every card in play was bad for the casino but great for my mom. She could recall every card and could calculate probability very quickly in her mind.
My sister, Barbara, the one with two middle names, called my mom’s endeavours the “3B’s” – Benny, Bridge and Bazaar. Benny was our dad-so full of love for her and all his family. Bridge was the major occupation for a woman gifted intellectually, growing up when women could be teachers, nurses or secretaries (she became the latter for a short time) and Hadassah Bazaar was the Herculean annual fund-raising event.
Many of my personal childhood memories center around my love of animals and my mother’s dislike of them. I often quote her and recall her stern but surprisingly calm voice saying “No, you can’t have a (fill in species of animal here), but when you grow up you can have as many as you like.” So…of course, I did, still do… And from being someone who rather disliked household pets, in the last quarter of her life she began to like dogs, to enjoy dogs and to follow the goings on of various dogs of family and friends.
A bit of wisdom I have borrowed from her and taught to others is…”It’s only a thing”. When things were broken or damaged she would always say that so calmly and wisely….like the time someone dropped a burning cigarette on her brand new wall-to-wall carpet. Sometimes she would add “It’s only a thing, it’s not a person.”
Jason always felt that mom was an advocate for social interaction which he appreciated because he felt he was shy. (I personally don’t think Jason is shy at all!) Because she was a people person, mom introduced people to others with delightful ease and warmth. Jason shared her love of family and has become the go to person for connection for our generation.
Art was an intensely focused and bright child who loved chemistry. He also loved blowing up things and that he did with regularity and glee. I never knew exactly how mom felt about these events but when Art was punished for throwing a paper airplane at school by being required to make hordes of them, Mom folded away to complete the task along with him.
My mom cared deeply about social justice and inequality. Along with her mother she campaigned for Dorise Nielsen, the third female MP in Canada whose post-political career included the writing of a weekly column entitled “Women’s Place is Everywhere.” Pat was very conscious of classism and always had a soft spot for the underprivileged and the underdog in every situation.
She had a loving marriage she always called a "true love marriage", had four children, many grandchildren and great grandchildren and so many friends. She LOVED people! She cherished her little brother, Al, who is now 90. They were the best of friends.
My mother always felt I should write for a living. I would read her various speeches and bits of blog posts. Almost as good as Al, she would say…and I actually was privileged to write a few of her speeches including the one for Jason and Wendy’s wedding! Then she would chastise me for not trying to write a book with all that talent (after all, Uncle Al DID write a book). I would remind her that writing eulogies had become my thing…and she would laugh. Oh that laugh was loud and pure….
I had talked to her every day for so many years.
She will be so missed.
-Elaine Willis
