Condolences
May 23, 2023
My Dear Long Time Beloved Friend, Louise,
When I heard of your passing, I took it so hard I could not express myself on Facebook. However, I was able to send a card with my heartfelt condolences to your family. And now I am in gratitude for waiting until now to come together, it has made it easier for me to strive on, just like what you had modelled. It was my most grim time with 80 plus people transitioning. Here is my story about the life lessons that I have learned from knowing you. I get a sign when someone passes. It is the song “Into the West”.
You have gone from us and are now singing a heavenly song! My fondest memories are attending music events. It was genuinely nice sitting in the pew with smiles on our faces enjoying The Calgary Centre for Spiritual Living Services, when it was located in downtown Calgary. We both loved the congregational music, Amy Bishop, her band, and the inspirational messages from the pulpit. Also, my participation with you in supporting young musicians such as: Ben Rose, African drums, and that male musician that held a fundraiser in your home. I was happy to hear that your son Ben had developed in to a fine musician.
Now you remain with us to recall the good times as we had a lot in common. We love color and art, politics, intellectual and spiritual conversations. If we disagreed, it was mutual that we agreed to disagree!
When our mutual friend Diana McCluskey brought us together, we, Aileen, her mother- Mabel liked celebrating our birthdays. We all lived busy, full lives as we worked, raised our children, and ate cake, especially at our landmark parties! Roger came along to see if could be of some help to you. And then we met an interesting person, Kathleen, and her sister and then we had more cake and conversation to share!
We first met through teaching for the Catholic Separate School Board and being involved with the Alberta Teachers Association. Where we met other mutual friends such as Richard Hehr when he became President of ATA. You had separated from Vic and needed help moving furniture to the house where you have been living all these decades . Roger and I were glad to help.
Both of us supported the Liberal Party and thought highly of Kent Hehr and he successfully represented Albertans in Ottawa as a member of Parliament. All of Kent’s parties were fun and we both loved Elvis Presley’s music and impersonators, so Richard, won our hearts at our Substitute Teachers Christmas Parties, where you admit you got your start!
Also, we were supportive of the Green Party- Elizabeth May as we recognised the climate crisis and the need to change to innovative energy solutions and the recognition for the need of more female leadership.
At the Killarney Pool, we went exercising in the deep-water sessions, then 20 minutes in the hot tub! You enjoyed it so much that you bought a hot tub, to help you de stress and to soothe your aching muscles. When you were out of town, Roger and I gladly took care of your property and were rewarded with the use of the hot tub and a meal when you returned!
Roger and I were grateful for the invitation to attend the Alberta Teachers Association (ATA) and Calgary Separate School Division Retirement party in honor of your teaching experiences of 32 years. I was immensely proud of you for hanging in there. You were a valued teacher.
I was delighted when you asked for my help putting curtain rods up and I taught you to grow plants in your flower beds.
I felt like a “ghost buster” the time that you asked for my help to break in to your house. You had a guest stay with you and she accidentally left the key inside.! Who do you call? Grace Nelson! So, I asked if there was a window left open. Yes, the guest room. Good! I’ll be over with my ladder! Tell the neighbors. I don’t want them to call the police thinking that it is a break and enter! I was thankful that her guest was younger and more flexible than I was to climb through the window! We were tempted to call the fire department hoping that their calendar was out!
Many years ago, you called me for help at 10:30 PM when you were in extreme pain, and you accidentally ate a whole cookie! You reacted badly because you were in a health condition. At that time, I was no expert, but I knew other people who were to ask for advice on how to manage it. I stayed calm and tried my best to reassure you as your experience was awful. Breathe, relax, distract…It will pass, I assured you and it did after three miserable hours, until you could sleep.
As friends do, Diana, Louise and I took a trip to visit Aileen on the west coast. The days were extremely hot, so Diana and I did not bring a sweater or a blanket. Your blood was boiling from menopausal symptoms – hot flashes and hot temperatures made you sleep in the back seat, as Diana and I took turns driving. The air conditioner was on full blast! Diana and I were freezing in the front. As soon as we secretly turn the air conditioner down, you would wake up and insist that we turn the air conditioner on maximum! Even when we were at higher altitudes, where it is cooler, you caught us.! To this day, when I am cold on a sweltering day, I am prepared with a sweater!
Remember when you thought that you were ready to date? I am the Libra - a natural match maker, if you want me to be or not! You had no clue how to pick up a man! So, we met at a lounge down town to meet professional gentlemen. While I was waiting for you to arrive, I had arranged with four men to sit with them at their large table. Out of the four men I weeded out two, who could be potential dates. They had good jobs. That is a start! I saved seats beside these gentlemen so you could talk to them. The popcorn basket was empty, so I suggested hinting to you to get a refill. No! You responded,” I will not be a servant to a man!” He can serve me! I suggested, Louise, ask someone to join you so you can make a connection, I prompted. The old-style popcorn cart was at the back of the lounge. You could both have some quiet time together! Then I suggested that she go to the washroom because one of them was on his way to the men’s washroom. I do not have to go! You responded. I replied to you that you don’t have to go, go! It was an opportunity to make a connection. You lost interest and chose to sit with your girlfriends at another table when they arrived. By the end of the evening, Roger and I knew a lot about these 4 gentlemen, we had interesting conversations. I could have opened my own business!
What I like about you is that you have always been an independent, strong, brave, generous and a resilient woman .
Louise, you were a good friend. What I lacked in English writing skills you excelled! Thanks for your help in proof reading and improving the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada (RASC) brochure. This National event was big in Calgary in 2018.
And thank you Louise for supporting me when I ran for City Counsellor now two terms ago. You stayed with me as we watched the results together. Roger and Diana were out working as scrutineers at the polls. I appreciated your company as I realized my loss of a profession, I wanted to be in service to my city. I found you comforting.
One of my favorite times was when you hosted a Woman’s’ Discussion Group in your home every week- a requirement for a University Course that you were taking. It reminds me of the TV show, ” The View” with the many insightful diverse answers to hot topics concerning women from around the world!
There are many more memories of a life that we have shared that I will recall. The last 10 years have been the most challenging for the both of us. We had many phone conversations to support each other in our endeavors and your presence at our camp site by the lake and visiting us at our new home.
Well, Facebook friend of 118 followers, we will release you at your memorial service as we celebrate the good life that you lived! Now in that fifth dimension that we call heaven. I can see you happier and freed of your painful human body and you love your youthful healthy spirit body. You will still be concerned about your boys and all your friends, I would expect. Thank you for showing us a real person, your generosity, your thoughtfulness, your kindness. When I star gaze this summer, please show me where your light continues to shine!
Sincerely,
Grace Nelson, Calgary, Alberta
P.S. I leave you with my favorite song, “Into The West” – The Lord of the Rings Lyrics by Annie Lennox & Fran Walsh
Lay down, your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling, you have come to journey’s end.
Sleep now, and dream of the ones whose came before.
They are calling, from across a distant shore.
Why do you weep? What are those tears upon your face?
Soon you will see, all your fears will pass away. Safe in my arms, you’re only sleeping.
What can you see? On the horizon? Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea, a pale moon rises… The ships have come to carry you home.
And all will turn to silver glass… A light on the water all souls’ pass...
Hope fades, into the world of night… Through shadows falling, out of memory and time.
Don’t say we have come now to the end. White shores are calling,
You and I will meet again. And you will be here, in my arms, just sleeping
What can you see on the horizon? Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea, a pale moon rises, The ships have come to carry you home.
And all will turn to silver glass. A light on the water grey ships pass, into the west.
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